


Rebuilding

by CJaneway



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), True Blood
Genre: Alpha Derek Hale, BAMF Stiles, Derek Needs To Use His Words, M/M, Pack Mother Stiles Stilinski, Rebuilding the Hale House, Slow Build Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-13
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-02-08 16:11:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1947636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CJaneway/pseuds/CJaneway
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles has found a contractor to rebuild the pack house. Conversation ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rebuilding

«I was thinking we'd hire Alcide Hevraux.» Stiles said  
  
«Who?»  
  
«A contractor that comes highly recommended by my cousin Sookie.»  
  
«Who?»  
  
«The godchild of my mother who, like myself, is also a fairy descendant. We talked about my magic glowy, remember? She's a quarter and I'm halfsies. Hevraux finally got free of his dealings with the Sheriff of Area 5, so he's clean, Sookie assured me... she's sort of intimate with the Sheriff of Area 5.»  
  
«What's wrong with dealing with a sheriff?»  
  
«The vampire sheriff serving directly under the ruler of the kingdom of Louisiana? Trust me, this revelation shit is bullcrap, most vampires are mean and vicious. Now one just has to kill them more discreetly... except for Sookie. She has a bunch of them wrapped around separate fingers... fairy blood, y'know? Our blood is supernatural cocaine. And her pussy is apparently the entrance to heaven. Not spoken verbatim.»  
  
«Cocaine?»  
  
«That's all you got from that, Derek? Too bad Adderall doesn't work on wolves. Focus Sourwolf! Trust me, vampire politics are so underrated. Only reason why my dad and I are in the know like we are is because Sookie has a foot and a friend in every camp... and she's even more prone to getting screwed over by the supernatural community than I am... not that we're not supernatural, yay fay powers, no, mine haven't manifested yet, but yeah – she gets into a ton of shit. And when I can say someone gets into a ton of shit? You can take that to the bank and buy stocks with it.»  
  
«So why are we hiring this Hevruu character on your cousins word alone?»  
  
«Are you doing this deliberately? I'm explaining the world as I know it and all you can do is mangle a name. Hevraux, Der, Hevraux, yay for the French bungling of the spelling and/or pronounciation of everything they touch. He's a shifter.»  
  
«A wolf?»  
  
«Yeah... no I was planning on hiring a werepanther to remodel a wolf's house, yeah, brainy that.»  
  
«Werepanther?»  
  
«Hasn't anyone taught you anything? God... wait, fuck, I'm realizing who would have had to teach you. We'd have to tie zombiewolf down and have Lydia scream in his ears while Allison pulled out his claws for him to give up any information. Sorry. I forgot. Your uncle is a douche... without the cleansing properties I might add!»  
  
«So, he's coming here?»  
  
«I, Stiles Stilinski, give up. No, Derek, he's building the house in Louisiana and I'm teleporting it here with fae magic and it'll plop down right on top of the charred husk that is already there – instantly making everything better..»  
  
«Really?»  
  
«No.»


End file.
